I do want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this opportunity to see shining examples of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for initially in a long while, I do not feel alone.
Element of me wanted to remain longer, but beneath that desire was thinking that I could be this for the incorrect reason; as an easy way in order to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights acim teacher. What I’m about to fairly share wasn’t yet clear during those times; only on the drive away achieved it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from the Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never needs to have told you, never needs to have allow you to see inside. Don’t want it troubling your brain, won’t you allow it to be?” This confused me as I really could not think of anything that I had said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the most prominent fear I had in coming to the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere using its residents’reassurance, by just my presence alone. This belief that I really could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for several years, and has colored lots of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness soon after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel like the belief has been (has been?) released.
You can find other items that happened that felt important, but I can’t think of them right now.